Remnants

 

This morning I came downstairs, made myself a cup of coffee and, determined to clear off some clutter from my desk in my home-studio, I started piling papers and scraps and tossing trash away. I'm something of an artist - maybe you didn't know that about me, yet. It's no longer my primary vocation, but there are art supplies all over and as a Bible study and journaling enthusiast, I have quite the collection of kits and collage printables here and there. 

As an "out of sight, out of mind" type, I keep a nice-sized pretty teal metal tray right on my desk for the scraps of collage images and stickers I have left over. So after I made tidy piles to put away of random things around my desk, I also organized my tray. 

I laid out all of the items in there - word stickers, images from a variety of kits, florals - you name it. I looked at all these beautiful "random" items that were hiding across the bottom of that pretty metal tray, underneath study notes and devotional booklets...and the word "remnants" came to mind. I pulled out my creative prayer journal and thought to create a spread using these leftovers. 

As I picked out the images and words I was going to piece together, I had a word from the Lord - "You have these gifts and these beautiful things, but you're not being a very good steward of them." Ouch. (well...ouch #1, because there was more to come ;) ) The sting hit me awhile ago, to be honest - I haven't made much time for the words and the art. God has definitely put an anointing on my expression of Him, the expression of who He created me to be, to reach others...and it's just been collecting dust like the remnants of the pretties along the bottom of my tray. 

"Okay, Lord - I hear You...and I'm here. I will do better, let's make something of this junk! Nothing wasted, Lord!"

I grabbed a glue stick, some of my favorite pens and started sticking and gluing on the page, arranging things so that there would be plenty of time to journal about what He had said to me. And then, loud as day, came what we will now call "Ouch #2 - the BIG one!".

He said, "I don't want your remnants. You offer me your scraps....scraps of your attention, scraps of your time, scraps of your energy...I want the front end, the best and I also want everything between!"

Oh, my friend...tears filled my eyes because I have been feeling this the last couple of weeks, and yet I just kept going. These past two weeks particularly have been heavy. Working in ministry is such a beautiful thing, but lately the lists have grown longer and there is so much to get done, on top of the duty of serving people, I feel as though I have simply been checking boxes. 

Prayer? Check. 

Group? Check. 

Media tasks? Check

Lesson plans? Check, check.

Reading for study? Check. 

Wednesday night service? Check.

Reply to that need in Trello? Check. 

...pick up kids, spend time, clean the house, do the dishes, make dinner, homework, shower, baths, let the dog out...you get it. I'm not complaining at all, my friend - I want you to hear my heart. These tasks are all absolute blessings to me - my family, my "work", the ways I've been appointed and called to serve others, including my Pastor and co-leadership staff at church, the people in and out of the church, etc. It's beautiful!

...but when we're mundanely checking off boxes on to-do lists and probably grumbling a little bit about being tired or wanting to sit on the couch and read when there's a service or group to attend - is that an operation of service in love? 

No. No, it's not. 

The Lord doesn't want our "remnants", He doesn't want our scraps of energy and/or time. And how must He feel when we're not even offering those scraps to Him?!? Because if I'm being honest, some days I have not. Not at all. 

If I had our Father right here in my house, sitting down at my dinner table, would I serve Him first with the freshest food out of the abundance of what had been prepared? Or would I offer Him scraps of what was left? Even worse...would I ignore Him there altogether and offer Him nothing at all? 

So yes...the sting of conviction. I had my cry, I prayed for forgiveness and I continued to give Him my best of the day - my first, my abundance, the freshest outpouring of my mind and heart that I have to give any person or thing today. And I will do better. 

There is no shortage of things to do, of people and things demanding our time and attention. Day in and day out the world is pulling more and more out of us, or trying to. The Lord sees it, He knows. But we also are called not "lean not on our own understanding" (Proverbs 3:5-6), to "love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength" (Deuteronomy 6:5, Matthew 22:37). We are called to do all things for the Lord in Colossians 3:23-24, which says, "Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving".

None of those tell us to offer Him our leftovers. 

So friend - the Lord isn't a shaming or condemning God, He is merciful and compassionate. There is no doubt, however, that He wants our attention. He wants our time. He wants our focus, our hearts, our service...He wants to be first. 

Let's give Him our best. He's worth abundantly so much more than our remnants and scraps.