Oh, young girl...

 

I look at you and I feel the angst. I see you, I see everything inside you; so much just scratching at the edges of yourself, dying to come out. 

Yet you don’t know how to express it, you have no idea what to do.

Too much for so many, you’re getting it out in all the wrong ways and filled with the tension between what you’re doing and who you are destined to be, troubles surround. 

Truthfully, much of that trouble you’ve weaved together yourself. 

How I wish I could scream out across the decades. against the winds of change, “Do not give yourself away so easily! No, stop that - you don’t need to do that. You’re nowhere close to any place where you should do that!”

“Don’t try to numb that shame, baby girl - it isn’t going to work. That numb feeling is temporary and will lead to more trouble than what you’re numbing in the first place.”

“These people don’t care about you, truly - let your SELF out and your people are out there to love and accept you. Stop living this half life.”

“No, you don’t need to want to end this life….there’s more, sweetie, there is so much more. Please hold on and just pause.”

Those tears she cried at night she never would have believed to be caught in the hands that held her all that time, that they sank into the fabric on those arms she didn’t see holding her, keeping her from ultimate demise. 

And if I could have screamed out toward her, she never would have believed:

…She was a lovely girl, worthy of love and (good) attention.

…She was a gifted expressive with a talent for words and visual expression and she would become able to get it all out safely. 

…God was pursuing her and He was going to heal every inch of brokenness and He would cultivate in her His own divine compassionate and creative spirit and He would guide her right to who she was created to be. 

He would save her from completely giving herself to this world, despite her rolling eyes and guarded heart - He would get in and he would rescue her. 

And He would call her His own and eventually, she would love Him back.